I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
