I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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