I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
