She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
