Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Success! We fucked roommates!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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