I wanna passion pit in your ass
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
