My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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