She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
