i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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