My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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