You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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