my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
