how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
