Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
