I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
