Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
