And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
