What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
