i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
