drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
