like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize