i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
