I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
