wat bout pragnant strippers??
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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