ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Never joke about your clitoris.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
