you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
