I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize