im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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