I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
