1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
