batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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