btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
