I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
