Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize