Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
