So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
