Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
