I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
