Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
