Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
