just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize