dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
