apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
