Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
