2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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