Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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