Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
