I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
