last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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