TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
