I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
