I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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