Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
