yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
