OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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