so let's talk penis.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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