put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
