Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
