i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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