dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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