Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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