i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
