I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
