the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
