i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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